kanyewesticle:

it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

(via jesslikesthemacarena)

stilesstillnski:

i literally say fuck so often i’m starting to think we need a new word that’s more offensive than fuck

(via fallencapplepie)

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

(via myheartandheadgooutofsync)

a detailed list of people who have a crush on me:

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(Source: 270293, via jess-stevens)

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

(via fearlesslylivinglife)

zubat:

Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family.

(via fearlesslylivinglife)

lameborghini:

for being a teen girl i sure do talk about my dick a lot

(via love-with-ryeowook)